When you are experiencing homelessness, it can be difficult to feel safe. In some cases, being homeless as a young adult might feel safer physically and/or emotionally than where we came from, or you might find you don’t feel safe anywhere. In survival mode, the idea of true safety can sometimes feel unobtainable. Safety can feel like a privilege that you can’t access at all, or can only have in parts. Safety can also take a variety of forms. When talking about safety, we want to think about physical safety, as well as mental or emotional safety. Safety, most broadly, can also include security of our resources, like personal belongings that we need to take care of ourselves. Ultimately, what feels safe or as though it is a reasonable risk to one person might feel incredibly unsafe to someone else. Here are some tips for thinking about safety if you’re experiencing any form of homelessness.
Stay Aware
Homelessness can take many forms: from couch-surfing with friends and extended family, to shelters, camping, sleeping in cars, subways, abandoned buildings, or on the street. Safety considerations in each of these situations are going to look a little bit different. However, in all cases, the key to trying to keep yourself safe is going to be focused on being aware of your surroundings and their unique qualities, and being aware of who is near you. Risks and safety are going to look different in each situation. For example, in a shelter you may have access to a secure locker to keep your possessions and important papers safe while you are staying there, whereas if you are couch-surfing or on the streets you may need to be more creative to keep your belongings secure. Similarly, if you are staying in a tent or sleeping on a subway train there isn’t anything protecting you from people who might want to cause you harm, whereas if you are able to sleep in a locked car there is a greater level of safety.
Trust your gut feelings. If you feel unsafe in a situation, try to leave it.
If you are taking any medications, utilizing any substances like alcohol, or are otherwise in a state where your reaction times, or your ability to process information, are or might be impacted, try to keep the company of people who you trust and who can make safety assessments for both of you while your judgment or responsiveness is altered.
Staying Safe While Couch-Surfing
When couch-surfing, many homeless youth feel like they can let their guard down a little when it comes to safety. If you are staying with trustworthy adults who you know well, this might be the case, and can be a much-needed respite from feeling like you are in constant crisis. However, couch-surfing can sometimes involve staying with people you don’t know well, or don’t know at all. These people might be well-intentioned, or could have their own motivations for why they are offering help. When couch-surfing, be aware of where your belongings are, and keep your most important documents (identification, important paperwork etc.) with you at all times. This way, if you have to leave quickly, the chance is low of you being separated from the things that you need most. Be aware of any kind of unwanted advances (emotional or sexual) that make you feel uncomfortable. You do not owe anyone intimacy in exchange for them letting you stay with them. As a homeless youth it’s so important to trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. If your gut is sending you signals that you aren’t safe trust yourself and get out of that situation as quickly as possible. Tell someone you trust that you aren’t feeling safe wherever you are, or if you are alone, but have a cell phone, text or call someone you trust and let them know where you are and what’s going on. Get yourself somewhere where you feel safer, or at minimum where there are other people around.
Staying Safe on The Streets
If you are in a position of sleeping on the streets, there may be limited things you can do to keep yourself safe. While it’s a challenge to keep from getting stopped/harassed by police or private security, as much as possible try to stay in well-lit populated areas. Stay with other homeless youth as much as possible. Try not to be alone: there is safety in numbers. Homeless youth sleeping together on the streets are less likely to be targets of exploitation or violence. While sleeping, hold your belongings, including your shoes, while you sleep to protect them from getting stolen. Be aware of your surroundings, and if you get a bad feeling about anyone near you, suggest to your friends that you move along and find a different place to sleep. You may also want to carry pepper spray if it’s legal in your area.
Staying Safe in Shelters
Shelters are often seen as being much safer than the streets and in many cases they are. However, that isn’t always the case. Not all shelters are created equally. If you know that you are going to need to stay in a shelter, and you live in a city with options, talk with your homeless friends about their experiences in different shelters. Some shelters are just for youth, while others (depending on your age, if you are an older youth) may mix adults and young adults together. In other areas there are youth-specific shelters that only house youth and prevent potentially dangerous adults from gaining access. Other homeless youth may have had experiences at shelters that will help you determine which facility or program is going to be safe for you. Anytime a lot of youth are together, be it high school or a homeless shelter, there can also be cliques and drama. Be aware of what is going on around you, but thoughtful about how and when you do or don’t engage. Getting involved in shelter drama or politics could jeopardize your housing or safety if conflicts escalate, which could lead to unsafe situations. If you are staying in a shelter, you’ll also want to keep your belongings on your body or locked up to keep them secure from theft. When it comes to keeping yourself safe, it can be helpful and empowering to take a self-defense class. These classes can give you tools to protect yourself if you are ever approached in an unwanted way, and are often offered for free at local community centers, or organizations like the local parks service.
Once More with Feeling: Trust Your Gut
If you don’t feel safe in a situation, even if you aren’t exactly sure why, trust your internal sense of what does or doesn’t feel safe. Part of being a homeless teenager means sometimes needing to keep yourself safe when nobody else is willing or able to do so. If you don’t feel safe, make it your priority to do whatever you can or need to do to get yourself into a situation where you feel safer. Ultimately, you are the expert on your experience and are going to know better than anyone else if something is or isn’t feeling safe. If the vibes feel off, or you aren’t feeling like something is safe that’s a good indication you need to make a different plan for where you are that day or night.
