friends

Seeing You With A Perpetrator Hurts. Here's Why.

Grace is a survivor who has something to ask of you: she's asking you not to spend time with people who have abused me or any other survivor you know. And she's also telling you quite a lot about why.

How to Support A Friend or Partner Who’s Dealing With Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria can create a lot of tough mental health days. Our friends and partners play an important role in our mutual support systems, and for people who are dealing with gender dysphoria, having supportive friends and partners can make a big difference. If you have a friend or partner who lives with gender dysphoria, here’s how you can support them.

It’s All Right: There Is No One Right Time to Start Dating

Many social norms, macro or micro, can make it seem like the ideal — or even only! — time to start having dating experiences is in high school. You may get the message that doing it any other time, even just waiting until you’re in college, puts you at  some kind of disadvantage. To go against that grain may inspire some social judgement of you and, at least in my case, leave you wondering if you’re just fulfilling a harmful stereotype about what autistic people are capable and incapable of doing. Even if it’s impossible to remember amidst the din of outside messaging world, there is no one right time for dating. That’s as true for neurodivergent folks, including those of us on the autism spectrum, as it is for neurotypical members of the world.

No Grey Area: A Journey Identifying and Healing from Sexual Assault

Sexual assault and abuse can take so many forms that some people don’t recognize right away or ever. I didn’t initially recognize it. The most simple legal definition of sexual assault is “forcing a victim to participate in sexual acts,” but this definition isn’t always helpful when you’re trying to figure out if you’ve been assaulted. It's so much more complicated and unique than a one-sentence definition.

From Erasure to Ownership: A Bisexuality Journey

I experienced bisexual erasure when I was a teenager. The first crushes I remember having were on boys, but I’ll never forget the first time I met a girl and felt weak in the knees. I was thirteen years old. A year later I heard the term bisexual for the first time and felt like it described me.

How exactly does "friends with benefits" work?

Anonymous asks:
I have been looking for some information on what and how friends with benefits works. I am straight, does it only mean casual intercourse or can it be just things like “spooning” and holding hands? I am thinking of asking a very close friend if they want to be friends with benefits. But I am only comfortable with just cuddling or holding hands, maybe more but only if we both feel ready....

Learning My Way Through My Poly Fears

Dynamics like mine require a lot of honesty, and often speaking honestly can make you feel vulnerable, but showing vulnerability to a partner is a good way to build trust and intimacy. At the same time, you learn a lot about yourself as you're forced to ask yourself tough questions and to think carefully about what you want from a relationship and why - in turn, this makes you appreciate the reasons you want to be with your partner(s), and what it is about being with them that makes you happy.

Some Books and Balms for Nonbinary Folks

As a writer and a reader, books have always been my constant companions: when I feel alone and isolated, they're one of the first places I turn. We've got you here in our direct services at Scarleteen (and if you want to talk to a nonbinary person specifically, you can always ask for, or email, me or one of our other nonbinary team members, like Ruby or Jacob), but if you also like the company of books, here are a few books I like from nonbinary writers, about nonbinary identities and thought, relevant self-care or help sorting things out for yourself, and a couple of my favorite nonbinary or trans balms for the soul.