I'm interested in having casual sex with my chemistry lab partner, but I'm not really sure how to see if he is interested too.
We only see each other at labs and I wouldn't say we're friends but we get along and flirt (at least I think he's flirting with me).
So any tips about how to bring this up with him? Short of saying "do you want to have sex?" after a lab (when the TAs and other students would hear) I really don't have any ideas.
Plus I'm really worried about him reacting negatively is saying something along the lines of "ew, what is wrong with you?"
How does one initiate casual sex?
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Heather
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Re: How does one initiate casual sex?
Have you already taken a look at this?
Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex
I'd say that whatever the context of sex, it's a pretty good rule of thumb to only ask someone if they would like to have sex with you when you are pretty sure that is something they also want. Especially if you're not seeking out a more gradual sexual relationship, but want to go from 0 to 60 in no time flat: having NO sexual interactions and inviting someone to have something like intercourse or oral sex with you, and you basically need to feel comfortable saying, very simply, "Hey, do you want to have sex with me?" Which is a pretty big jump if you haven't even had a cup of coffee with someone before or hung around them at all in a context outside work or school.
Heck, even for your own information, having a LITTLE more context probably will tell you if you even still want to ask that person to have sex with you.
So, if you feel like you have no idea if they're interested, it may be you need to get to know this person and how they feel about you at least a little more before putting that out there. Maybe at least DO spend some time outside the lab at least once -- which gets you to ask them to hang out with you, period, so you know if they even want to do that -- and see if you have more of a clue?
I'd also say that any invitation to sex with others is something we need to figure we should only put out there if we feel totally okay if someone says no. If and when we're not, it's probably not a good time for us to put ourselves out there in that way.
Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex
I'd say that whatever the context of sex, it's a pretty good rule of thumb to only ask someone if they would like to have sex with you when you are pretty sure that is something they also want. Especially if you're not seeking out a more gradual sexual relationship, but want to go from 0 to 60 in no time flat: having NO sexual interactions and inviting someone to have something like intercourse or oral sex with you, and you basically need to feel comfortable saying, very simply, "Hey, do you want to have sex with me?" Which is a pretty big jump if you haven't even had a cup of coffee with someone before or hung around them at all in a context outside work or school.
Heck, even for your own information, having a LITTLE more context probably will tell you if you even still want to ask that person to have sex with you.
So, if you feel like you have no idea if they're interested, it may be you need to get to know this person and how they feel about you at least a little more before putting that out there. Maybe at least DO spend some time outside the lab at least once -- which gets you to ask them to hang out with you, period, so you know if they even want to do that -- and see if you have more of a clue?
I'd also say that any invitation to sex with others is something we need to figure we should only put out there if we feel totally okay if someone says no. If and when we're not, it's probably not a good time for us to put ourselves out there in that way.
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