What to do when you Run Into an Old Partner

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
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thinkmcflythink
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What to do when you Run Into an Old Partner

Unread post by thinkmcflythink »

Hey there Scarleteen friends!

I'm an Intern at one of the local papers in my area and was out shooting photos of a festival when I run into my ex boyfriend. I was talking with a few friends and he showed up with a big group of his friends. I glanced back at him and instead of doing the mature thing and saying hello, I went off to take more photos and said goodbye to my friend.
Our relationship included partner assault and wasn't exactly healthy. We are on good terms but I figured out a few years ago, I cannot be friends with him. Has anyone else had something like this happen? How did you handle that situation and what can I do if that happens again?
- Love all of you!
Thinkmcflythink
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Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Location: Chicago

Re: What to do when you Run Into an Old Partner

Unread post by Heather »

You know, I think you did what you do. I disagree that not engaging, at all, with someone who abused you is immature. It sounds to me like you handled this just fine, and in a way that didn't risk your safety at all, nor a way where you'd feel like you were pretending abuse didn't happen.

I also think that it wouldn't be a good idea to be friends with someone who assaulted you: someone who does that makes clear they are not safe, and the only right answer -- when we have a choice, and sometimes we don't, alas, or don't yet -- is to steer clear and stay as far away as possible.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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