Scarleteen

Hi! My name is Chloe and I wanna talk about something I've thought about for a while. I love watching videos about lgbtqia+ topics and I have been comfortable with the fact that I'm bisexual since I was like 7. I tend to daydream alot about myself in the future. But one thing I noticed is I dont imagine myself as a women. When I think about being a man the thought makes me happy. I imagine if I had the choice to just click a button and become a boy, I would do it...but I dont hate being a woman. All the trans male youtubers I watch talk about how uncomfortable they felt in their body but I don't feel that way. I feel just fine in the body im in, and being called a girl doesn't bother me. But the thought of being a man fills me with such genuine happiness. I imagine myself with male features, I imagine myself in a relationship where I am the man, I imagine everyone around me seeing me as a man and the thought makes me so happy. When I hear trans ppl talking about their experiences they talk about how much they hated being the gender they were born with, but I do not relate. I feel like I could live as a woman and be perfectly fine. I have not seen any videos of people with the same experience as me and I dont know if this is normal or not.

Hi Chloe_14!,

I think it's very normal to be exploring your identity. From my understanding, gender can be complex, and it can be something that people explore for many years. Here at Scarleteen, we cannot tell you what you are, but we can provide you with the proper resources so you can see for yourself if you can relate to these particular experiences and identities. We have many resources on the trans experience. Are you interested in this? There's a lot we can get into here, so I can share these resources if you'd like, then ask you what you think of them in relation to your thoughts on your gender right now, and we can move forward from there. What do you think?

I hope this helps!

I do also want to add that in a very sexist and misogynistic world, it also makes a lot of sense for just about anyone to imagine being a man and feeling happy about it, especially during life phases, like puberty, where being a girl or woman can be extra uncomfortable.

There are some areas where how trans and other gender nonconforming people can feel and how cis people can feel can absolutely intersect.

Thanks for responding guys! Nicole I am interested in those resources.

Hi Chloe,

In terms of some starting resources on our site, these two could both be helpful: Gender Confusion: Being Unsure Doesn't Have to Be a Bummer
Welcome to Trans Summer School!

To Heather's point, it may also be worth taking some time to think about how much of this curiosity and thinking about your gender might be related to the ways gender plays out in our society. It can also help to approach this less from a point of trying to work out if you're trans, cis, nonbinary, etc, and more from the starting place of how you want to embody and express your gender.