Scarleteen

Ive heard advice from people older than me saying that you should try (for lack of better word) to be in relationships even with people you aren't attracted to. To me this seems nonsensical and insensitive of the feelings of the potential partner for a plethora of reasons. Although this would hypothetically gives me the relationship experience i wish to have when I meet The One it seems cruel. Does this seem unethical/harmful in any way? Should I be embracing this experience of dating people even if I'm not attracted to them?

Hi Elly,

I think it's important to listen to your intuition and what you feel is right with this. Getting into relationships just to be in a relationship could hurt the other person and break their trust. But it also wouldn't feel good for you either. You deserve to surround yourself with people you actually want to be around - people who share your interests, sense of humor, values, etc. Are you personally interested in dating in high school? Or is this something you're feeling pressure to get into?

I think my interest in dating stems more from a personal standpoint than that of peer pressure. I just wonder whether accepting someones advances, even if you aren't initially attracted to them is morally unjust.

Hi there, Elly! I don't think it would necessarily be morally unjust to do that, but I think it's important to communicate clearly about how you feel. Don't promise something that you can't give- you'd need to tell the other person that you don't reciprocate their feelings, but you're willing to explore a relationship with them.