You're welcome. I do want to say that I think one thing happening here is that the experience you had is such a modern one that abuse and assault terminology hasn't caught up to it yet. By all means, when someone is in a very immersive game, I can absolutely see experiencing what happened to you as ...

You know, Rachel, I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not a fan of the whole framework of "deformity" whether we are talking about a face or any other body parts. It's an ableist framework because it suggests there is one right way to have a body, and that there are ways that body parts...

Alex: I'm sorry that you're feeling the way that you are, in every way. We certainly never want anyone to feel bad about their experiences here, and I also know what it feels like to get hopes dashed when we develop feelings for someone. What I meant by what I said is that it sounds like he's alread...

So, you can't tell that by inserting a finger. heck, doing that only even gives so much information to a trained sexual healthcare provider. The way to ascertain that best is to start with a sexual healthcare appointment and visit, then you have a baseline -- of knowing from the provider everything ...

So, can I ask *why* you are trying so hard to do this? What are you looking for from this exploration? What is it offering you besides anxiety or worry? ( I do want to say that by 19, if you have been menstruating for at least a few years, it's probably very difficult to distinguish the hymen from t...

I think that at this point, the best thing you can do is just leave this where it is, save that maybe the next time you see him at work, apologizing to him for putting any kind of pressure on him, or for making his workplace uncomfortable. You can then let him know that while, as he knows, you have ...

No one is harmed by just not masturbating, in any situation. While masturbation and other sexual acitivites can sure be nice, they are not actually essential for anyone's health.

So, really mike, this just sounds like a pretty simple matter: when you want to masturbate less, or don't want to when you feel the desire to, you just don't. It seems pretty fully within your control, and like it's more a matter of just learning how to get okay with the temporary discomfort or disa...

Hi there, Alex. From where I'm sitting, it seems to me like he was pretty clear with you already, and since this is also in the context of his job -- a job run by your family -- and he is an adult, I imagine that this whole situation feels a lot more precarious to him than it does to you. That's not...

I’m so sorry that you feel this way just from trying to give words to your experience so you can heal. How do you feel about using more general terms to describe what happened overall, like saying that an adult sexually harassed you within a video game? You can then add details if you want, or add t...

Great! This I can do. Based on what I have picked up from you so far, I'd suggest these three to start: • What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety by Jaclyn Friedman • Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski • and more specifically around anxiety, but with help that ...

So, I would say that if you just don't know the answer to any of those kinds of questions, it seems pretty clear this is not an amazing relationship meeting all or even most of your wants and needs. The question would then be: if it isn't that, is it something you want to stay in? And if so, is it a...

I'm glad to be able to help. Maybe if and when you see J a next time, you can just kind of evaluate him and the situation with some of what we've talked about in your lens? I hear you on the cost of therapy and how hard it is to access, especially speciality therapy. Are you someone who benefits fro...

Honestly, you'll be doing good at all of life, period, if you don't make anyone (who doesn't want to be ) pregnant or unhappy. :D But for sure, when there aren't STIs in the mix (or there are, but people are doing what they need to for themselves around them) and when an unwanted pregnancy risk isn'...

Hi there, mika. Welcome to the boards. If I'm getting what you mean, it's totally okay to like or be excited by body fluids like semen. A lot of people are. It's also totally safe to have your own semen anywhere on your body, and to pretty much do whatever you want with it. The only way your semen c...

Do you feel like you would know if this was an earnestly amazing relationship for you that was meeting all your wants and needs?

You're welcome. Bear in mind, too, that if your guts feelings override what I've said, I do think it's worth giving them their proper due. After all, you know yourself and this whole situation much better than I do. I do want to suggest, just as a thing to think about, that I think non-sexual friend...

I find that sometimes in these kinds of situations it helps to ask ourselves very direct questions and just push ourselves to answer them from our gut, rather than after thinking about them. For instance: • Does this relationship make you happy? • Does this relationship feel like a really integral p...

I'm sorry that this sat from Friday without an answer, Leo. Can I ask if you already have anything that you do to help yourself feel better with something else, besides your chest, that makes you feel insecure or self-conscious? For example, like if and when you maybe mean to say one thing but say s...

So, the hymen itself doesn't actually have any nerve endings. However, because it is tethered to/around the vaginal opening, which DOES have a whole lot of sensory nerve endings, if and when someone is touching any part of the hymen, they are necessarily engaging the vaginal opening, and it's nerves...

Hi there, and welcome to the boards. :) So, what words we use to describe our sexual identities aren't -- they really shouldn't be, anyway -- regulated by other people, because they are mostly meant for us, for and about ourselves. If "lesbian" feels like a right word for you, for yourself...

Hey there, Elle. You know, I hope this doesn't feel like a veer, but I've just read through the conversation so far, and if it's something you'd want to know, I'm not feeling this guy for you (and vice-versa) based on what I have read so far. It just feels like a mismatch for me in a few different w...

That kind of cycle is actually not at all unusual, especially for younger people. People's cycles are so diverse that something we know now is that it's actually pretty difficult to even define a "short" or "long" cycle in more general ways, rather than someone, based on their ow...

Oh gosh, you're welcome: happy to have been of help at all. Sorry we can only do so much to help!

I understand. It can often take experimenting to find what works for us -- different medications, a medication plus a certain kind of therapy, and life changes, too. By all means, if you're living in a place or family that makes you feel bad, that feeds your depression, that's also going to be hard ...