Search found 23 matches

by Hi :)
Fri Mar 15, 2024 10:45 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How do I let go of intense shame surrounding my kinks?
Replies: 1
Views: 4254

How do I let go of intense shame surrounding my kinks?

So, I’ve always had an interest in BDSM, since before I knew what it was. I remember when I was about 9/10 I used to look for torture scenes from movies on google, I think this was me trying to find BDSM content without having the right words to find it. I didn’t really like the scenes I watched, th...
by Hi :)
Mon Dec 11, 2023 11:11 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I feel like I deserve to die.
Replies: 3
Views: 3924

Re: I feel like I deserve to die.

Okay. I kind of really just want somebody else’s perspective on what happened. Like did I handle the situation correctly? Is there anything else I can do? And does this make me a bad person?
by Hi :)
Mon Dec 11, 2023 12:26 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I feel like I deserve to die.
Replies: 3
Views: 3924

I feel like I deserve to die.

I’m 17 now, but a few years ago (when I was 15 I think) I said something really terrible and now I can’t stop feeling like I deserve to die. Basically, me and my little sister (both autistic) were fighting and I called her the r slur because she punched me in the back of the head. I knew it was a sl...
by Hi :)
Sat Nov 18, 2023 8:11 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore
Replies: 4
Views: 7428

Re: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore

Hi. I realized this a long time ago, but some of what I said here wasn’t true because I wrote it in the midst of an OCD episode. (I’m not professionally diagnosed, but what I experience is consistent with OCD symptoms.) I actually wasn’t aware of literally anything that my dad did until after the fa...
by Hi :)
Sat Aug 05, 2023 10:05 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?
Replies: 8
Views: 11901

Re: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?

So this is kind of a weird question, but does being into BDSM make me a bad person? When I was younger I used to watch a lot of porn and scenes in movies portraying pain and I was really interested in it. I used to masturbate to, like, torture and death scenes in movies/TV shows. I didn’t like the ...
by Hi :)
Thu Aug 03, 2023 11:47 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person
Replies: 8
Views: 14807

Re: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person

Hi Sam W, I’m not sure why my mom is having trouble finding a therapist tbh. Money may have something to do with it, but I think it’s more so because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of therapists where we live. Or at least I think there isn’t. I was given some other options, but I don’t think they’d ...
by Hi :)
Wed Aug 02, 2023 11:18 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person
Replies: 8
Views: 14807

Re: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person

Hi Latha, I’m sorry for waiting so long to reply, I wasn’t sure how to respond tbh. No, I haven’t really talked to anybody about that specifically, but I have tried to talk to people about my mental health in general. I’ve visited my school mental health counsellor a few times, but I didn’t feel com...
by Hi :)
Fri Jul 28, 2023 5:06 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person
Replies: 8
Views: 14807

Re: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person

Yeah, that makes sense. To be fair, I don’t even think I was aroused by it tbh. I just assumed that because I’ve been aroused by other spanking related things and I masturbated to that scene, but I also have a habit of masturbating while watching random things out of pure boredom. So, I think I that...
by Hi :)
Thu Jul 27, 2023 9:13 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?
Replies: 8
Views: 11901

Re: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?

I hope jumping in here just as another user and not a volunteer is kosher, but, assuming it is, may I add: I saw that you were worried that you might be a "psychopath" and that really resonated with me because that's a worry that I've had in my past too (it wasn't related to sexual stuff,...
by Hi :)
Thu Jul 27, 2023 8:48 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person
Replies: 8
Views: 14807

I masturbated to Family Guy and I’m worried that makes me a bad person

Hi, I know this sounds weird. Anybody can reply if they want to, but please don’t judge me. I’m already embarrassed enough and this is genuinely difficult to type out. So, basically, I have a spanking kink and last year I found a couple scenes from Family Guy where Chris was being spanked. I found t...
by Hi :)
Wed Jul 26, 2023 11:13 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore
Replies: 4
Views: 7428

Re: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore

Also, I just noticed that in my post it sounded like my dad was starving my grandma which isn’t true. I just meant he would buy himself food that was more expensive and tasted better btw.
by Hi :)
Wed Jul 26, 2023 8:18 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore
Replies: 4
Views: 7428

I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore

Hi. So, as the title says, I don’t want to have a relationship with my father anymore and I’m feeling pretty conflicted and confused. Also, I’m not in any immediate danger, so please don’t call CPS or anything like that. For context, my dad is a bad person and I don’t want to associate myself with h...
by Hi :)
Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:29 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Feeling ashamed of my past unhealthy sexual habits
Replies: 1
Views: 7565

Feeling ashamed of my past unhealthy sexual habits

I’ve struggled with unhealthy sexual habits in the past and I’m feeling really guilty and ashamed of them now. I started watching porn at a very young age (around 10) and I used porn compulsively for years. I think I developed a dependency of porn because after a while it became difficult for me to ...
by Hi :)
Tue Jul 18, 2023 4:54 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?
Replies: 8
Views: 11901

Re: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?

Thanks for answering! I already stopped watching the scenes from movies because some of it was scary and disturbing to me, I only really masturbated to that stuff a few times when I was younger (9-13) and a few times last year when I discovered a new kink. I was mainly just exploring the internet. I...
by Hi :)
Mon Jul 17, 2023 9:06 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?
Replies: 8
Views: 11901

Does being into BDSM make me a bad person?

So this is kind of a weird question, but does being into BDSM make me a bad person? When I was younger I used to watch a lot of porn and scenes in movies portraying pain and I was really interested in it. I used to masturbate to, like, torture and death scenes in movies/TV shows. I didn’t like the a...
by Hi :)
Sun Jul 02, 2023 5:40 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is it still SA if i consented?
Replies: 1
Views: 4392

Is it still SA if i consented?

So, I already posted a little about my (possible) COCSA experience and the answers were very helpful, but that was me asking whether what I did was abuse or not. Now, I’m kind of confused about if what happened to me was COCSA. Does it still count as sexual abuse if I consented? We were both the sam...
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 4:57 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Re: Was this COCSA? (Please help)

Update: I spoke to my mom about it and she helped me ask my brother about it. He said he doesn’t remember anything sexual between us and that he doesn’t feel like I violated him or anything like that.

Does this mean that it wasn’t abuse?
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 2:06 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Re: Was this COCSA? (Please help)

Also, if it turns out that I did abuse him or that he felt hurt by it, what am I supposed to do?

Or if it turns out I was abused or I felt hurt by it, what am I supposed to do?
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 11:55 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Re: Was this COCSA? (Please help)

This is the first place I’ve been able to talk about this. My parents have improved a lot since I was little, especially my mom, but every time I’ve tried to talk to her about it I’m too scared to. I’ve also spoken a little bit to a counsellor before, but I wasn’t really able to go into detail and e...
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 11:02 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Re: Was this COCSA? (Please help)

The girl who did that to me was the same age and size as me, but she seemed to know more than me about sexual stuff and about social relationships. And, I’ve never told anyone about it before. I’ve thought about everything that happened episodically since I was a pre-teen, I believe. That’s when I w...
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:55 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Re: Was this COCSA? (Please help)

I think it was out of genuine curiosity, but it’s difficult to remember what I was thinking at the time. I know I didn’t know what sex was until I was older. And I don’t remember anything explicitly sexual that we did, like we never engaged in an actual sexual act, but I don’t know if that automatic...
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 7:05 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Re: Was this COCSA? (Please help)

I don’t know. I still feel really confused about what happened. I don’t know if it was abuse or not. And I still feel really guilty and like I’m a terrible person.
by Hi :)
Thu Jun 29, 2023 6:09 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was this COCSA? (Please help)
Replies: 13
Views: 13632

Was this COCSA? (Please help)

Hello, I already posted this question on another forum, but I’m going to post it again on here because I think this is a more appropriate place for it. I’ve been thinking a lot about some things that happened when I was little and I’m not sure if it’s considered COCSA or just normal child behaviour....