Hey SillyMcGoof, It definitely isn't the most comfortable situation to have to shift the way you relate to someone you care about, but it can often be better for each individual and the relationship in the long run. I'd be happy to take a look at what you plan to say to this person. I think Heather ...

Hi Claire, If you're unsure about starting with penetrative sex right away, I agree it sounds like a good plan to stick with other options for being intimate. This can be everything from kissing, cuddling, sharing wants and needs when it comes to sex, or manual (fingers/hands) sex and oral sex. Dent...

Hi Yohanz,

I am having trouble understanding what you mean by "pre moistened sperm". Can you explain so I can best support you?

Hi naurmi008, I'm so sorry for all of these experiences you're describing. If you haven't already, I'd recommend taking a few long, deep breaths. It sounds like a lot of confusing, awful things have happened with people you've trusted in the past, therefore it makes sense to doubt trust in your boyf...

Hi mari,

Just hopping in here to say I was unable to get to this reply during my shift, but another volunteer will respond. Thank you for your patience!

Hi off-kilter, I'll start by saying I'm glad to hear you have support from a therapist, and that your family will be ready to support you when you feel ready to come out. Do you have any friends or trusted people who you are out to? It may be helpful to talk to them about this as well. It totally ma...

Hi qg21tfio, Thank you for trusting us with this information. I'm so sorry you've experienced shame from family members over very common expressions of sexuality. I'll start by saying masturbation is a healthy way to experience pleasure and explore one's sexuality. Many people have the same experien...

I'm sorry to hear you've been having some extra anxiety around this recently! I'd be happy to help explore when and how this all started. I'll start by saying understanding the legal landscape of sexuality can be very complicated. Everything from who is involved, where everything took place, and the...

It is understandable to fear being away from loved ones. I'm glad it sounds like there are some really important people in your life, and it would certainly be difficult to be away from them. Have you experienced anxiety about legal consequences in the past?

I'm glad this sounds like it will be helpful for you and your partner. How is your comfort level with introducing this exercise to them, and discussing the results? I am able to help brainstorm communication ideas if needed.

I'm glad the conversation with your mom went okay! I am not qualified to speak on the legal consequences of this situation. What I can help with is navigating the anxiety you're experiencing. We can think through ways to handle similar anxieties in the future, and how to choose activities and commun...

To avoid leakage when changing condoms, hold the base of the condom when withdrawing to make sure everything stays in place. Bodily fluid on the new condom can still pose some risk. If you accidentally touch the semen when removing the condom, wash your hands before placing a new condom on. I'll als...

Hi brbr, I'd still recommend changing the condom if any semen becomes present, even if you're still hard. Semen being present in the condom creates the risk for semen to leak out during the sex act. Also, you're absolutely right there's the added risk if the condom ends up breaking. If you're concer...

It could be helpful to speak with the friends you exchanged these messages with if that feels safe and accessible to you. How did the conversation go with your mom?

Hi SillyMcGoof_,

It sounds like these exchanges were light-hearted and consensual. Have you discussed these anxieties with the friends you've been exchanging messages with? Are they experiencing this anxiety as well?

Hi Jay27, I think noticing when you become overstimulated during masturbation, and how you overcome that, is a great way to understand how to feel more comfortable with your partner. I also think taking this time of being long distance to fill out the sexual inventory would be a helpful activity. Do...

Hi SillyMcGoof_, Who are you concerned about getting in trouble with? By "dirty things" do you mean sexting? If so, sexting laws vary by state. Legal consequences often have to do with photographs being sent as well. Were photographs part of these exchanges? Too, can you tell me a bit abou...

Hi doorknobby22, I'll start by saying this is a super common experience. While definitely frustrating, experiencing pleasure with a partner can be tricky business that just takes time, practice, and communication. We have a great article discussing this exact frustration, called Why can't I orgasm? ...

Hi sky, There are certainly people out there who want the same things as you. Many people are interested in taking things slow, seeing how everything progresses, and getting to know one another deeply before pursuing any kind of sexual contact. I'll echo my colleagues' points that 1. asserting bound...

Hi Lovelly_Kayyy, Generally, pregnancy tests should be taken at least 14 days after sex that can cause pregnancy, or after a missed period. It sounds like your periods can be unpredictable, however, so I understand the uncertainty around when you can trust a negative pregnancy test result. I hear yo...

Hi hedera, It totally makes sense that this pregnancy anxiety is coming up after your sister's experience. I'll start by saying her experience is quite rare, but I understand still feeling anxiety about it. You're correct that no method of birth control, including condoms, is 100% effective if you'r...

Hi blu_envy, It sounds like you still value your relationship with this person, but may just need a bit of space to process everything. I think you're on the right track with communicating about your feelings in an honest way. As for experiencing repulsion during sex, did you notice if some parts fe...

Hi AquariusRising, I hope it's okay I'm stepping in here. I'm happy to hear you are in contact with one of your sisters. How has it felt the few times you've talked with her about the assaults? Do you think she would be open to talking more deeply about everything? Do you think a more in-depth conve...

Do you still work with these people? If so, do you think you'd be open to hanging out again? If you had a good time with them at the place you went before, how would you feel about initiating the hang-out? This would not involve coming up with a whole new place to go, but it would allow you to retur...

I understand it can feel really disappointing when feelings are not reciprocated, especially such intense emotions as sexual and romantic attraction. It is essential to respect boundaries, which it sounds like have been well established in this relationship. I am glad you're open to branching out. I...