body image

With her book Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life (Fair Winds Press, 2017) Elle Chase gave us a guide for methods, positions and sex hacks for fat lovers with a range of different body types, centering all kinds of people who have long had their sexuality marginalized, denied or erased. In a conversation with Scarleteen, Chase talks about the book, how the media is changing its portrayal of fat people, the relevance of the word “plus size,” and her personal experiences with her own body acceptance and sexual journey.

When you gain weight and want to talk about it -- whatever your feelings about it are -- with partners or others you're in intimate relationships with, how can you do that, especially in a world where so few people are equipped with the skills to talk about weight in healthy, sensitive, supportive ways?

Hey, hey, hey, it’s Chanté, back this week to continue the convo about sexuality and intersectionality. This week, I want to revisit a little basic terminology I brought up last time. Sexuality and intersectionality are my jam. Why? Well, because I’m someone who identifies as so many things that...

When your disabled body decides to literally crap out on you, how do you bring sexy back?

I'm always so sad to hear anyone who has the idea that needing -- or just plain wanting! -- lubricant is some kind of problem, means something is wrong with someone, or that that need is unusual. I also always find myself struggling to understand those feelings, even though I have heard many women...

Have you ever thought about your body from the point of view of your skin?

Hello! You're dealing with a situation that's very familiar for many teenagers (and ex-teenagers like myself): You're growing into your body and...you're not sure how you feel about it. But just because this is a common stage of human development doesn't mean you need to sit in silence, and I'm so...

When it comes to sex, women are often portrayed as nothing but warm vessels there to validate male partners' egos. The widespread cultural acceptance of a woman pursuing pleasure for her own sake is a relatively new one (at least in West's modern history), and we've still got a long way to go. It's no small wonder that many women have a difficult time asking for what they want in general, let alone when it comes to sex.

Sexual shame hinders women in far too many ways. It's a difficult beast to tackle, as it assumes so many nuanced, subtle forms in our daily lives. To be sure, some forms of sexual shame are blatant, but many of them are so deeply engrained that we scarcely even notice them. By making ourselves aware of the different ways we're made to feel ashamed, however, we can begin to overcome them.

Contrary to a common public opinion, there's no right or wrong way to have sex. Bad sex -- and what that even is varies from person to person -- definitely happens, but usually only when there's little to no communication, and one party isn't attuned to the other's needs. (I am speaking of consensual sex that's just a stinker here, not about sexual assault.) Every person's preferences are unique. An act or gesture that drives one person absolutely wild might fall flat for another. You might think, "Wow, my ex really loved it when I did this one certain thing, but my new partner barely responds to it at all." This is just the nature of sex.