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(...or brown parts, or violet parts, or black parts, or peach parts, or...)
A lot of questions about how to have intercourse, how to masturbate, and worries about what's all going on down there can be solved by simply getting to know your own body. In fact, I'd gander to say that before you let anyone else get to know it, you'd best know it yourself as well as you know your own face. Just like you wouldn't go out rollerblading until you knew where the brakes were, how to fix the bearings on your wheels, or how to find your way home from the park where you blade, the same holds true with your sexual anatomy.
Go get yourself a mirror, make sure you have some real privacy (or at least a door that locks) and use some quality time to get to know your body and yourself. We'll just look at what you can see and feel, to get you started. Sit with your panties off, and your legs spread open, and get ready to take a good look.
The proper name for the outer female genitals is the vulva (vuhl-vah).
The vagina is only one part of these organs, and not the whole of them, and many people mistakenly call the vulva the vagina. Where your pubic hair is, below your belly button, is a fatty area of tissue (skin) called the mons (mahns). Your pubic hair will move downward, as will that fatty tissue, around your labia majora (lay-bee-ah) or "lips." If you pull your outer labia open, you will see your labia minora, or lips, which are not covered with hair, and look a bit like flower petals or two teeny-tiny tongues. The size, length and color of the inner labia will differ from woman to woman. They may be long and thick, or barely visible, and may look purple, red, pink, blackish or brown, depending on your own coloring. All of these variations are absolutely normal, as are the labia being two different sizes or shapes. The purpose of your inner labia is pretty important; they keep icky bacteria away from what is called the vestibule.
Looking at the vestibule, between those inner labia from the top down (right below your mons), you'll first see top of the the inner labia, which create a little skin fold called the clitoral hood. That hood connects to the glans, which is the tip -- and only the tip -- of the clitoris (klit-or-iss). If you pull up the hood with your fingers, you can get a closer look. In women, the clitoris, which in total, is nearly of the same size as the male penis, is usually the most sensitive spot of the vulva. In fact, it is created of the same sort of erectile tissue that the head of a penis is created of (for an interesting comparison of male and female genital organs, see here). Before we are born, until about the sixth week of our lives as an embryo, our sexual organs are slightly developed, but are completely the same.
If you feel the clitoris with your fingers, you'll probably feel a tingle or a tickle. Rubbing it a bit, you can feel a hardish portion that is the shaft of the clitoris. The clitoris (sometimes called the "clit" or the "spot") is the primary source of most female genital sensation. When you masturbate, it is what you will most likely (but not always) touch and manipulate to pleasure yourself. The clitoris is, in fact, the only organ on the entire body that is solely for sexual arousal, and is attached to ligaments, muscles and veins that become filled with blood during arousal (when you get sexually excited) and contract during orgasm. The clitoris is what most women like to have stimulated during oral or digital (with hands and fingers) sex, during masturbation, and during intercourse, and not just the tip of shaft. The clitoris is internal as well as external -- and the whole thing is a lot bigger than it looks from the outside -- with legs, called crura, that are within the outer labia, as well as the clitoral (or vestibular)bulbs, which surround part of the lower portion of the vaginal canal.
All of us are different in how and where we like our clitorises touched (or if we do at all!). For some, rubbing too fast or hard, or right on the tip or shaft may be uncomfortable, but for others, it's just the thing. Like near anything else in sex, the best way to find out is to experiment by masturbating.
Looking lower, you will see another hood-like shape. Right below that shape is a teeny, tiny, barely visible little dot or slit, which is your urethra or urinary opening, where you urinate (or pee) from. Below that is the vaginal opening (sometimes called a "slit" or "hole") It's important to notice how close the urinary opening is to the vaginal opening. Because of this, sometimes sexual activity can bring bacteria which infect the urinary opening, so it's important during sexual activity to both empty your bladder before and after, and to be sure your or your partners hands, mouth or other organs are clean.
Around the vaginal opening, you may see your hymen (high-men). Your hymen may or may not be there, and that isn't always because of sex. Long ago (and still sometimes today) it was thought that the hymen was "evidence" of whether or not a woman had had sexual intercourse, but that is not the case at all. Not even all women are born with intact hymens! When someone is talking about "popping a cherry," this is what they are referring to, though it's really a misnomer. Your hymen is usually easily stretched or eroded with fairly basic physical activity, tampon use, masturbation, or other things. Even if your hymen is intact, it rarely covers that opening completely, but has little holes and perforations in it. Even after it has been torn or stretched, little folds of tissue remain. During first intercourse, pain or bleeding you experience may be due to stretching your hymen, and is perfectly normal. However, that pain or bleeding may well also be because you had sex without being aroused enough to be properly lubricated, or did not use extra lubricant if needed. On the other hand, there are some women whose hymens simply are so thick, or have such a small opening, that it is indeed painful to have intercourse or penetrate the vagina otherwise, and sometimes a medical procudre need be done to remedy that. All in all, there are many reasons for sexual pain, and stretching the hymen is only one of many.
Now, slide your finger into your vaginal opening, and squeeze your vaginal walls (engaging what are commonly called PC -- pubococcygeus -- or Kegel muscles), just like you were trying to hold it in when you have to urinate, or when you're trying to stop the flow of your urine. You can feel a lot of folds of skin and different textures, and see how the vagina (which is the passage between the vaginal opening and the cervix) can hold you fingers. That is the same way it hold a tampon, a penis, or a child during labor.
Your vagina may be wetter or dryer right now depending on your menstrual cycle. Right after you've had your period, or when you aren't aroused you'll generally be dryer, and about two weeks into your cycle, or when you are aroused, you'll be a bit wetter. The mucus, or "discharge" from your vagina, which you'll sometimes see on your underpants, may vary in texture, scent and color greatly. Many women are disturbed by this, but there is no need to be, and trying to get rid of that mucus with douching or other methods is not healthy, as that mucus keeps your vagina clean of bacteria and maintains a careful acid balance vital to your health. If you're ever in doubt about vaginal discharge, the best thing to do is to call your doctor. In general, however, unless the mucus is spotted with blood and you aren't on your period, makes you itch at all, or is greenish in hue, it's probably healthy, normal discharge.
If you put your finger inside your vagina, towards your belly, not your back, you may feel a spongy length of tissue that is a bit like the roof of your mouth in texture (if you have short fingers, you may not be able to). That is the infamous g-spot, or Grafenburg Spot, another potential source of, or contributor to, sexual pleasure or orgasm. Understand, however, that not all women find the g-spot being touched or stimulated to be pleasurable, and it doesn't lead to orgasm magically in every woman. It isn't a magic button, it is simply another part of your genital anatomy that is responsive to pleasure. In addition, stimulation of the g-spot may also lead to an orgasm in which some women ejaculate, or release fluid from the urethra. This is not urine, even though it may feel that way. As well, women can ejaculate from orgasm with or without g-spot stimulation.
If you poke your finger deeply into your vagina, you'll feel something deep inside that feels like a nose or a dimpled chin. This is your cervix, which is the base of the uterus, where, if you were pregnant, a baby would grow. The cervix is the passage through which sperm travel to meet the egg, but don't worry -- nothing but sperm can usually fit in there. In other words, you can't "lose" a tampon or a toy or anything else in your vagina, because it ends with your cervix.
Take a look at your vulva a few times, and experiment touching it to find out how you really work down there. Though our anatomy has the same components, every woman is different in both the appearance and the experience of our genitals. There are no "magic" buttons that please us all the same, and the only way to find out what you like, and what you're comfortable with, is to get to know yourself and your body on your own.
Above all else, understand that your genitals are really no different from any other part of your anatomy. They aren't something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, and in many cultures a woman's genitals are thought of as sacred, and indeed, they are. Treat them with honor, and let them bring you joy.
 | The Vagina Monologues author: Eve Ensler asin: 0375750525 |
 | Woman: An Intimate Geography author: Natalie Angier asin: 0385498411 |
 | Clitourist author: Karen Salmansohn asin: 0789306778 |
 | Vaginas: An Owner's Manual author: Carol Livoti,Elizabeth Topp asin: 1568582951 |
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